Reblog if you're secretly a 46 year old man.
News in Britain: stamps have gone up 14 pence
News in America: cannibal eats man's face
homosaurus-rex: It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.
It is 1:30 in the morning and I can’t fall back asleep, I have school in 6 1/2 hours. Ugh and I left my math textbook at my bus stop yesterday, the driver said that he would go back and get it if it was there. Hopefully he did, I really don’t want to pay $97 for a calculus textbook…
rubywhiterabbit: My little brother got into outer space and stuff so my step-mom bought him a place mat with all the planets on it. When I first saw it, I was upset, because it was newer and so Pluto wasn’t labeled. I was about to say something when I noticed something… Pluto is there. The artist remembered Pluto. Guys… The artist drew Pluto crying.
You know that moment when you’re reading a book and you just have to stop and bite your lip and squeal or sigh or close your eyes and wrinkle your nose and forehead and press the book against your heart and just like sit there and try to soak up the gorgeous literature via osmosis? That’s my favorite part of reading.
mom 4 hours ago: we're only staying for 30 minutes
When talking about a crush...
totally-relatable: Normal people… My friends and I…
buttcamp: have you ever just listened to a recording of you talking and then felt terrible for anyone who’s ever had to talk to you ever
katara: my only weakness is my body image so once im hot i will be invincible